“Having drunk the dregs of Your Love,
I am intoxicated beyond recognition.
Now, I only pray for the nearness of You
so I may advance in my annihilation.” Kamand Kojouri
Him
The first day I saw her, it felt like my soul had been elevated beyond the heavens. She was so beautiful. I spent hours watching her, the way she moved, the way she spoke, her delicate fingers. She was perfect. I was shy at first, and I somehow managed to regain my confidence. I introduced myself, goosebumps all over my skin. I melted inside. The conversation was brief yet profound. That day I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my days with her, alone.
Her
I saw him. I pretended, instead. He looked cute. I noticed him watching me. Suddenly I became a peacock. I flaunted my beauty. I wanted him. I knew what I did to his heart, but I had the pride to maintain, so I made sure to draw him in. It worked. I twisted myself into his heart. There was something about him that made me lunge at him. I couldn’t help myself. I affected men. But I mostly ignored it, but with him, it was different. He seemed mysterious. From the moment we began talking, I knew I wanted myself in his heart forever. Yes, it’s selfish, but it’s fair.
Friend
I had a crush on her. It never left. But I was ashamed of myself. He was my best friend. She was his girl. I disgusted myself. So I buried the love I had for her deep into my heart. It must never see the light of day, forever. Then the inevitable happened. They broke up, and then my feelings towards her became aroused again. My mind played games, I knew she was out of my reach, but I nursed the thoughts of us being together, I cautioned myself. I stalked her, allowing myself to get tempted. I trod on dangerous waters, even when my friend died inside after the breakup. He hated her. I was supposed to be his ally, but I couldn’t bring myself to hate her. It was impossible. My feelings had gone too far—the power of love. I felt guilty, but the feelings I had for her were addictive. I enjoyed every bit of it, especially the sense of me never being able to get her for myself.
Her
I knew he would hate me. I wasn’t a saint. I instigated the breakup. He didn’t do anything wrong. He was too perfect. I was too imperfect. I felt dirty. I couldn’t explain the feeling, but my insecurities got the better or worst of me. I miss him very much. The way he touched me, the things his voice did to me, drove me insane. His presence spiked my heart, stealing my breath. How could a person be so perfect? I often found myself asking, how could? I couldn’t bring myself to answer the question. I couldn’t give a specific reason for the break-up. I still remember the night I broke up. I had cried myself to sorrow-coma. Drunken, I sent the text. Repeatedly he asked me for a reason. I couldn’t. There wasn’t any. I knew it hurt him. But my insecurities were terrible. They were genuine feelings but selfish. I broke him. I destroyed him. I may never forgive myself for what I did to him. But the problem is that I still loved him very much, and I wanted him in my life.
Him
I was broken. Days after I got the text, I spent long hours daily sleeping. I had hoped to wake up and realise it was all a dream. I hated her. The thin line between love and hate was broken. I was foolish. I blamed myself for not being enough for not being attractive enough. Or maybe I was just silly enough to think I could get the woman of my dreams. I hated myself for still waiting and wanting her to come back into my heart. I am indeed foolish.
Friend
I loathed them being together. I was envious of what they had. Even with the hatred, it was still obvious they still both loved each other. I wished they didn’t. I hoped they never did. This wasn’t me speaking. It’s the power of love. He was my best friend, and I felt guilty, but I couldn’t help it. I met her yesterday, we exchanged numbers, and we’ve been chatting. I’m so delighted. It’s my secret, our secret. I’m never telling my best friend. I don’t want to hurt him. He’s been through much already. I lie to myself.
Her
I met his friend yesterday. We exchanged numbers. He seemed excited. I found it weird. He was supposed to hate me. I was also excited to see him. I gave him my number to find out how his friend was doing. I have decided to worm myself into my ex’s heart through his friend. For now, I’ll be cool with his friend, and maybe we might meet up. Maybe.
Them
And so it happened, we saw each other. It was the first time in forever. We didn’t know how to react. But we could both see through each other. Our souls melted. We never stopped caring for each other. It was beautiful what we shared. We tried hiding the goosebumps, the butterflies in our stomachs, the blush when we caught each other stealing glances. We couldn’t pretend. We sat far away, separated by a sea of people. But that wasn’t going to stop either of us.
Her
I was excited. I couldn’t wait for the event to be over immediately after I found myself searching earnestly for him. He was lost, or maybe I was. I suddenly realised that I had a crush on him. I needed to be inside his heart. I needed to be with him. I wanted him badly, to the point of insanity.
Friend
I was disappointed and angry. They got back together. How? I couldn’t imagine why I felt angry, but I was. My friend kept going on and on. He was happy. Should I be happy for him, right? I wasn’t. I couldn’t bring myself to be pleased that they were back together. Doesn’t my friend know that she’s terrible for him? He’s insane, under the love spell.
Him
I was driven insane with happiness. We’re back together. Now our love is waxing stronger daily. She’s so sweet. Now I see her differently. She’s more vulnerable. She explained why she broke up the first time. I was sad. She must’ve been hurting. She was holding all that insecurity in by herself. I judged her unfairly. We’re both in each other’s hearts now. We’ve been consumed by love. We’re burnt. I suppose this is the beginning of something beautiful, I hope.
Her
Beginnings are sweet. I am enjoying this new vulnerability I feel with him. Every day I feel myself draw closer to him, loving him with every bit of my body, soul and mind.
But I couldn’t shake the weird feeling about his friend. It was as though he was holding something back. I saw the way he behaved uncomfortable around me. I wouldn’t say I liked it. So I confronted him. What was he thinking? Have a crush on me? His friend’s girl. I couldn’t believe him. But I was silent. I said no words. Till he shockingly asked me to choose between him or his friend, it was a stupid question. He knew my answer.
Friend
I told her. The cat is out of the bag. Weirdly, I felt great. She was relaxed and free. But I had to ask her the question. I couldn’t lose her or my friend. She had to choose either of us, or she looses both of us. It was the only way to take things back to normal. She had to leave our lives. She has ruined our friendship. I don’t think you should blame me for this. I’ve been intoxicated by love.
Him
This is it. The forever we planned, and it’s happening. My friend, on the other hand, had other plans. How could he have chosen this time to explain his feelings to me? I was enraged. He couldn’t have been severe. Some lines were never to be crossed. He crossed them. Now he’s hiding behind friendship. I told him already that nothing would come between myself and her. I meant it, every single word of it, including him. Of course, he didn’t take it too well. He accused me of everything and swore that our love was temporary. Even if it were, I’d still choose her thousand times over, a dishonest friend. It was done. She was now my best friend and lover. My old friend was gone.
Like you always do, you've created a beautiful piece which definitely makes one yearn for more. Thumbs up, Tolu🙌🙌
I’m empathetic towards the friend