Story so far:
(Present day)
Narrator: it's the fifth day of the week. A day dedicated to the cleaning of commercial environments it’s no different in Bamgbose Plaza, Baba Bamgbose himself seated in front of his building, imagining how he was going to break the expansion news to his tenants, wife and concubine. Each of them would have his head; they’d want an explanation, but he wasn’t ready to give one, it was his property, and he owed no one any responsibility on how he chooses to manage his property. The new bed he was sleeping in had shown him a different perspective of life and an innovative approach. Of all the caretakers and developers in the area, he would be the most outstanding if this expansion proves successful. He knows that his wife and concubine will be awaiting an explanation of his disappearance from their bed last night. But he was sure not giving any. This new bed was more than enough for him, and this was the place of happiness he had found. He was going to keep this secret for a few days till otherwise. But his problem was where he’d move his current tenants, they had all just recently renewed their rent, and it’ll be not very smart for him to tell them to move out because he wanted to expand his building. So, he made a very bold decision. The decision was one that he was sure would cause an uproar, but as his new bed told him, it takes a genius to change the world. He was a genius; his manhood nodded in agreement.
Morning (8:30 am)
Emekus: Bayooo! My guy, how na?
Bayo: (Walking deep in thoughts)
Emekus: (Walks over, gives Bayo a nudge)
Bayo: (Staggers, confused)
Emekus: Bayoou! Wetin dey happen ??
Bayo: Omo, my guy, be like say I don mess up o!
Emekus: Wetin happen?
Bayo: Remember, Habiba?
Emekus: (In thoughts)
Bayo: Habiba, big breasts, way her mama dey sell fried yam and puff puff, for the junction.
Emekus: Ah! Yes, I remember am Habibreast?
Bayo: Yes!
Emekus: Wetin happen to am?
Bayo: Omo, I been get form with am, last night, but e be like say I pour inside.
Emekus: (Laughing) You no use rubber?
Bayo: I been use for round one, but the thing be no dey make am smooth. Na for round two I comot am. Enter the place direct.
Emekus: I sabi that level, no worry, she be big girl, she go fit handle herself. Plus, maybe you fit dey impotent you fit no sabi?
Bayo: You dey craze, na your papa dey impotent.
(Both, Bayo and Emekus laughing till they find Baba Bamgbose in front of the plaza, they both stopped, composed themselves and approached him).
Baba Bamgbose: (Looks at the boys suspiciously) What’s funny?
Emekus: Good morning, Baba Landlord Wetin dey?
Baba Bamgbose: is that how to greet an elderly person? You don’t have respect.
Bayo: (bends his head; In Yoruba) Good morning sir.
Baba Bamgbose: (Eyes him; in Yoruba ) What’s good about the morning?
Bayo: (Hisses) Oga o
Baba Bamgbose: (In Yoruba) is that for me or your father?
Bayo: ( Grumbles)
Baba Bamgbose: (In Yoruba) When you’re not a bastard.
Emekus: Baba Wetin cause this war this morning na?
Baba Bamgbose: (Hisses) Which war?
Emekus: Bayo, leave this man, make we go dey sweep our shop dey clean everywhere.
Baba Bamgbose: Meeting dey, go carry chair for store, set am, as we dey await the remaining people.
Emekus: Na Wetin you suppose talk since morning be that, instead of ngbati ngbati.
Baba Bamgbose: (In Yoruba) your uncle!
Emekus: Na you sabi.
(Emekus and Bayo, moved to the store to carry out the chairs; as Iya Paso approaches)
Iya Paso: (In Yoruba) our husband, we’re privileged that you decided to grace us with your presence today.
Baba Bamgbose: (Frowning, In Yoruba) Welcome (Hisses)
Iya Paso: (In Yoruba) are we fighting ni? Abi why are you frowning your face?
Baba Bamgbose: (In Yoruba) I’m here for serious business, don’t distract me.
Iya Paso: (In Yoruba) God will end our fight.
Baba Bamgbose: (In Yoruba) That’s your problem, get a chair sit down, and wait. There’s a meeting.
(Iya Malik walks in)
Iya Malik: (In Yoruba) Ah! Men are wicked o!
Baba Bamgbose: (Ignores)
Iya Malik: (In Yoruba) Shame on you, my husband, you didn’t sleep in my bed last night, where did you go?!
Baba Bamgbose: (In Yoruba) Sorry dear
Iya Malik: (In Yoruba) I deserve an explanation, you sorry can’t fix this.
Baba Bamgbose: (In Yoruba) Sit down, let’s have a meeting. We’d have our talk after.
(Iya Malik, shouts at Eli to grab her a chair; still fuming).
(9:10 am)
(Moriya walks in)
Moriya: (Knells down; in Yoruba) Good morning, Sir.
Baba Bamgbose: (Smiling; in Yoruba) Good morning, good child, how is home?
Moriya: (Pretends to smile; in Yoruba) Everything is fine sir.
Baba Bamgbose: (Still, smiling; in Yoruba) Grab a chair from Bayo or Emekus and sit, I have an important message to pass across.
Moriya: (Confused; in Yoruba) Okay, sir.
(Everyone is seated, eyes fixed at Baba Bamgbose, he’s standing erect like a statue. Eli and other sales girls hiding behind eavesdropping)
Baba Bamgbose: Good morning everyone, I hope you're all good? I'm afraid I have some bad news.
Everyone: (Listening intently)
Baba Bamgbose: So, I've decided to expand this plaza. Which would further mean that this current building will be demolished.
Everyone: (In unison) Ah! What should we now do?
Baba Bamgbose: I know you all won’t take this lightly, so I’ve decided to return your full rents.
Iya Malik: Dear?
Baba Bamgbose: (frowns face) who’s your dear?
(Iya Malik, keeps shut)
Iya Paso: (Laughing Hysterically)
Emekus: Baba landlord when make I send my account details?
Bayo: Baba you cannot do this to us na?
(Patricia walks in; apologizing)
Patricia: I’m sorry for coming late, my son was purging, had to drop him in the school clinic.
Bayo: Baba landlord don pursue us.
Patricia: To where?
Emekus: (hisses) My house
Moriya: Don’t mind him, Baba Landlord said he wants to expand his building so he’ll have to demolish this present one.
Patricia: So we have to evacuate?
Moriya: Yes, but he’ll return our rent.
Patiricia: That’s fine by me, at least I’ll use the money for something else, I have shop at the house.
Moriya: That’s good.
Iya Malik: Dear, so what about me, are you also not going to compensate me?
Baba Bamgbose: (Fuming; in Yoruba) Did you pay rent?
Iya Malik: (in Yoruba) Ah! Me? Rent? I paid you with other things na?
Baba Bamgbose: (Shut up)
Iya Paso: (In Yoruba) I said it Abosi doesn’t last.
( Iya Paso, walks to the gate of the plaza, brings out a padlock and lock the gate; everyone exclaims!).
Baba Bamgbose: What is the meaning of this woman?
Iya Paso: Is this property your own or my own that you’re making decisions without my consent?
Baba Bamgbose: (Looks down, starts to stammer; in Yoruba) Honey, it’s not like that, I was just trying to innovate.
Iya Malik: (In Yoruba) Dear, what am I hearing?
Baba Bamgbose: (In Yoruba) shut up; I'm talking to my wife.
Iya Malik: (In Yoruba) I've been shamed!
Iya Paso: I’ve collected so much nonsense from you, all in the name of love, this property was given to you by my late father on the terms of our marriage, and since this marriage is over today, I’ve collected my property back.
Baba Bamgbose: (Face growing red) I apologise, it’s not what you think, don’t end this marriage like this.
(All other tenants, asides Iya Paso appear shocked, what is this new revelation)
Iya Paso: (In Yoruba) you greedy old fool, you think you have money now? I made you, everything you think you own or have, is mine. You think I’m a fool? (In English) Everybody better start going home, there’s no shop today, come back tomorrow.
(Iya Paso, walks out; Baba Bamgbose follows, begging).
Iya Malik: (In Yoruba) My life has finished
Patricia: You’re truly finished
Moriya: I’ll just be heading home
Patricia: Let me join you.
Emekus: Bayo, make we enter M and B bar, cancel some bottles.
Bayo: be like say na good idea, work kuku no dey, make I dial Habiba.
Emekus: My man! (Starts to draft a text to Eli)
(Patricia, Emekus, Bayo and Moriya, take their leave)
Iya Malik: (Lamentng Profusely in Yoruba) I lost, so big breast is not everything?
(Curtain Closes)
What?!!! the nerves baba Bamgbose has 😂😂😂
What?!!! the nerves baba Bamgbose 😂😂😂