Narrator: At 32, one wouldn’t exactly call Bayo a failure, although the last out of 6 children. He’s over pampered, first by his parents and secondly by his siblings. While they all excelled in academics, Bayo had no interests in school or academics his only interests lie in sleeping and exploring the depths between the thighs of a woman. After several family meetings, his parents and siblings finally decided that he must find something doing unless he wished to be disowned, after trying his hands on everything from learning plumbing to aspiring into becoming a chef, all of which he failed woefully. But on his 30th birthday his siblings surprised him with the key to a shop and stocked it with Akube (second-hand) clothes. His older sisters in America would be sending them to him, while he just needs to sell them and keep the profits. At least for the past few years that had worked, to the relief of his parents and siblings. But Bayo had other plans, he always had the big plans, well, his siblings already warned him, this would be the last time they’d help him out. But they say blood is thicker than water, they always threatened him with the last time, let’s hope, Bayo was already grown.
Morning (8:30 am)
Emekus: (Bangs his hand on the metal door) Bayoou you dey sleep for this early momo, you get belle ?
Bayo: (Grumbles, stretches and scratches his groin) Omo, see as you just disturb my sweet sleep na as I wan cash out na im you wake me.
Emekus: No vex my guy, nna Wetin dey sup?
Bayo: (Hisses) I been follow Hadija go one naming ceremony for my area, the party no finish till 3:30am for night, I drink like 4 orijin, come down 2 magic moments. I just dey vomit since morning.
Emekus: (Laughs) Omo, Bayooski you dey ball o, why you go drink that kin thing na?
Bayo: I been wan show Hadija say my head dey there, you sabi say she like bad boys sef. I even dey purge sef, I been chop Jollof rice and fried panla fish come down am with hot Fanta.
Emekus: (Laughing)
Bayo: Continue dey laugh me o, continue...
Emekus: You funny na, Hadija no worth your stress walahi, person way chairman Zanaki dey quench for exodus hotel 2 days ago?
Bayo: Na lie, she travel her mama sick
Emekus: (Squeezes his nose) Tah! Forget that side, I see am with my two eyes...
Bayo: Wetin you sef go dey find for that Exodus?
Emekus: No be your business
Bayo: (Eyes him) Na you sabi, but I no believe you sha.
Emekus: I Dey tell you truth, I use my John Bull (grabs his crotch) swear!
Bayo: That small thing ?
Emekus: Your papa!
Bayo: (Grinning)
( Emekus received a customer and left for his shop)
Patricia: (Singing Igbo Christian song while removing cobwebs from her shop)
Moriya: Madam Pat, how far? I’ve not seen alert o! I told you I needed to buy material for your gowns.
Patricia: I’m sorry my dear, I thought I was going to transfer it last night, but my son, fell ill and his useless father wasn’t around, I had to rush him to the health center.
Moriya: I’m sorry, I hope he’s much better now?
Patricia: My sister, we thank God o, my stupid husband came back home around 12 am, smelling of alcohol imagine, I’m sure he was with that useless Tope girl again.
Moriya: (Smiles) Madam Pat, please it’s not my business what your husband does, he’s an adult.
Patricia: No vex, I just needed someone to talk to, na why.
Moriya: (Walks back to her shop)
Patricia: (Speaking to self) This girl no get any character, why she proud gan sef? Na because say she get certificate na, she come think say she better pass all of us. She sabi sew cloth if not I no suppose dey give am any work. God pass am.
(Patricia continues her work)
Iya-Malik: (In deep thoughts)
Eli: (In Yoruba) Mummy how much is this material, a customer is asking m.
Iya-Malik: (In Yoruba) You know you don’t have sense?
Eli: (In Yoruba) Ma?
Iya-Malik: (In Yoruba) When will you know how to sell clothes? If at this age you still can’t tell the price of all the materials in the shop then it’s water that is inside your brain
Eli: (In Yoruba) Don’t be vexed ma
Iya-Malik:(Eyes her)
Eli: (In Yoruba) I’ll check the sales book
Iya-Malik: (Hisses) (In Yoruba) You knew that before and you were asking me?
(Eli, silently walked away; Iya Malik returns to her thoughts)
Mummy Paso: (In Yoruba) Which one of you unfortunate girls made today’s rice?
Girls: ...
Mummy Paso: (Sighs) (In Yoruba) None of you wish to talk abi?
Girl 1: (In Yoruba) Ma, I think it was me, I kept it on the fire but I didn’t put salt
Girl 2: (In Yoruba) I kept salt but I didn’t put water
Girl 3: (In Yoruba) I kept just a bit of water ma
Mummy Paso: (In Yoruba) You girls can see that you’re unfortunate abi? You want to spoil my market abi?
Girls: (In Unison) (In Yoruba) No ma!
Mummy Paso: (In Yoruba) Oya carry that nonsense rice away from my shop, I’ll remove it from your money.
( Girls walk out of the shop, carry the big Pot of rice out)
(Afternoon)
Patricia: Moriya, Good afternoon you don see the alert ?
Moriya: No, but if you’ve made the payment it should reflect in my account soon.
Patricia: Okay, just inform me in case
Moriya: I’m sorry about how I reacted this morning, these things just make me sad.
Patricia: No problem, I understand. I’m here if you wish to talk
Moriya: I’m glad, Madam Pat
Bayo: (Shinning teeth) Moriya me sef, dey here you want to talk?
Moriya: (Laughing)
Emekus: This Bayo na fool, them ask you ?
Bayo: Shut up jor, you want scatter their discussion
Moriya: Where are you guys headed?
Emekus: We want to get food from Mummy Paso’s shop.
Bayo: (Giving Emekus a side glance) Who ask you?
Emekus: No vex
Moriya: Help me get food (Puts hand inside her purse)
Bayo: (Excited) Gladly, how do you want it?
Moriya: Anyhow, I just want little rice, plenty meat and drink.
Bayo: No problem
Moriya: (Offers money)
Bayo: God Forbid! I can’t receive money from you, it’s my treat
Emekus: Really?
Patricia: Buy food for me too, Bayo
Bayo: (Hisses) Who be this one? You no get husband?
Patricia: Na wa o
Emekus: God go fight for you, Madam Pat
(Bayo and Emekus, leave to Mummy Paso’s shop; Moriya and Patricia appear to be talking about something else).
Bayo: How far, Emekus, make I see figo (500 Naira) for your hand?
Emekus: (Eyes him)
Bayo: I go pay you back na
Emekus: Na me send you message?
Bayo: Calm down, no be you go jabo say we want go buy food?
Emekus: And so? Come mean say make you turn Father Christmas
Bayo: No vex
Emekus: (Grudgingly gives him the figo) Before them go talk say Igbo man too like money
Bayo: You too like money
Emekus: Give me back my money na
(Evening)
(Iya Malik can be seen standing in front of Mummy Paso’s shop)
Iya-Malik: (In Yoruba) Mummy Paso, I want to see you!
Mummy Paso: (Squeezes face) (In Yoruba) What trouble are you bringing with you now?
Iya-Malik: (In Yoruba) There’s no trouble o, it’s just that it concerns our husband.
Mummy Paso: (In Yoruba) Which husband ?
Iya-Malik: (In Yoruba) Baba Bamgbose na
Mummy Paso: (In Yoruba) And so? Did his third leg stop working? Or has he hit the magun on your body?
Iya-Malik: (In Yoruba) What’s with the insults now na?
Mummy Paso: (In Yoruba) I’m just asking questions ni
Can’t I ask again?
Iya-Malik: (In Yoruba) Well I want to know if he slept in your house last night, he didn’t sleep in my house yesterday night.
Mummy Paso: (Laughs Heartily) (In Yoruba) Ohh, that’s why you’re bothered? Don’t you know that it’s the cane they used to beat the first wife that will also be used on the second?
Iya-Malik: (Grumbles)
Mummy Paso: (In Yoruba) Shior, I pity you. Don’t focus on your life.
Iya-Malik: (In Yoruba) I can’t share husband o
Mummy Paso: (In Yoruba) See this one, what should I now do?
Iya-Malik: (In Yoruba) That’s you, you’re a soft person
Mummy Paso: (Laughs) (In Yoruba) O ga o. Me soft? Even Baba Bamgbose can’t call me soft, it’s maturity I’m using.
Iya-Malik: (In Yoruba) So you’re saying he didn’t sleep on your bed last night?
Mummy Paso: (In Yoruba) How does that concerns you? A woman doesn’t mention the bed her husband sleeps.
Iya-Malik: (In Yoruba) Let me tell you something, you might be old school o, but you see me? I’m a new school woman. I’ll investigate and if I find out he’s with you, it’ll be dangerous.
Mummy Paso: (In Yoruba) We’re looking for strong animals, snail too is talking. Continue your investigation, you’re supposed to put meter and gauge on his manhood to track him. Jobless fellow
Iya-Malik: (In Yoruba) I don’t have your time, it’s the same carelessness that made you lose your husband to me in the first place.
Mummy Paso: (In Yoruba) I didn’t lose him, my dear. I let him go, he’s worthless to me, I’ve used all the important parts in his body. What’s better than having the youth of a man? You now have the old properties and think you have something.
Iya-Malik: (In Yoruba) Na you sabi, we shall see.
(Iya-Malik storms out of the shop, her eyes welling, she can’t believe Baba Bamgbose is cheating on her, after all his promises, after all she had given him, she decides to investigate further, she went to her shop, grabs her bag and left).
Bayo: How far, I need rush go house fast, Hadija need me for something.
Emekus: Na woman go still finish you
Bayo: Na good thing, you na money go finish you
Emekus: Shior Sha do softly.
(Bayo Locked up and left)
Eli: Emekus na wa for you o, you no even fit ask of me all day?
Emekus: No vex my peri peri, Na you talk say make we dey lowkey na why I calm down.
Eli: (Eyes him)
Emekus: (Grabs her) Sorry na, my body just dey gyrate for you since morning, you oga don go ? Lock shop make we enter Exodus, my body don full.
Eli: (Smiling) Na every time your body dey full, pamper me well today o
Emekus: Na you cause am na, see as you set, Shey I no dey always pamper you before?
Eli: You dey try Sha.
Emekus: Lock shop, make we dey go
Eli: Okay
(After a few minutes, Eli and Emekus left together).
Moriya: Madam Pat you sef don dey go?
Patricia: Yes, I need carry my pikin dem from school, nurse talk say make I bring my son for injection.
Moriya: Okay, wishing him quick recovery.
Patricia: Thank you!
Moriya: I’ve seen the alert o!
Patricia: Thank you, make I dey go, you never go?
Moriya: No, I get orders plenty to finish up.
Patricia: Bye
Moriya: Bye
(Patricia left)
Mummy Paso: (In thoughts) (In Yoruba) If Baba Bamgbose isn’t with me or Iya-Malik, where could he be? Maybe he has found another new girl to satisfy him, well that serves the stupid Iya-Malik a lesson. (She calls on the girls, who abruptly show) So don’t let that nonsense you pulled this morning happen again, am I clear?
Girls: (In unison)(In Yoruba) Yes ma!
Mummy Paso: (In Yoruba) I’m heading home, open up early tomorrow. Bye
Girls: Bye Ma!
Mummy Paso: (Talking to self) (In Yoruba) Let me go and also investigate.
( Mummy Paso, exists the plaza)
This marks the end of another day in Bamgbose Plaza
I want more😩😩