Me and boys, standing at the vendor's kiosk just opposite our face-me-i-face-you one-roomed apartments, as usual, arguing about everything, from politics to sports, then finally ending the morning session of joblessness with a bit of gossip about the latest happenings in the area, Shuaib the oldest out of the four of us, always smoking or getting
high on something, his arguments are usually incoherent, and bashful, a staunch Messi worshipper and a serial luster of Yemi Alade, the only reason why his bathing soap, finishes fast. He spends a longer amount of time in the bathroom; all his future kids are in the soak-away. Isaac, the intellectual one, amongst us, there’s nothing he doesn’t know about, except how to break away from Mari-gold’s jinx, he claims it’s love, but we all know that it’s anything but love. Baptista, whose original name is God-love, but named himself after his favorite wrestler, as an act of rebellion, against his parents who named him and God who made him unfortunate, he claims to know things that he doesn’t even know about, the only time he wins, fights is when you call him short, now you know how we win, when we place a bet on him inside the ring, instigate the opponent to call him short, everything is small-sized on his body, except his manhood, I wouldn’t know anything about that Basira told us after she ran away from the room last week, saying he wanted to slack her shop, well I hope her goods are still intact. Now, I don’t think you should know my name yet. Still, the only description I can give you of myself that would make any impact on my life right now is to describe my current predicament to you, last night while we drank at Benita’s dog and palm wine joint, baba Toheeb was bragging about putting 'magun’ on his wife, at first, I thought it was the palm wine that was talking, till he mentioned the baba that did the jazz for him, don’t ask me why I was bothered, you know I was sleeping with Iya-Toheeb, apart from the fact that her breasts were bigger than my head, she always satisfied my financial needs, in exchange, I meet her sexual needs, now you see that I’m not unemployed, but with this new development I think I might need a new source of income.
‘Guy, you stake man-u to win?’ Baptista taps me, breaking me from my thought process; I grudgingly replied to him, ‘be like so’ I couldn’t care less over one stupid ticket; my primary concern was Iya-Toheeb. Isaac already began telling his regular sermon about why he feels we all should stop gambling the odds are against us, bla bla bla... Shuaib standing up, his eyes half-open, he shuts Isaac up and instructs us all to follow him to Iya-Toheeb’s buka to eat rice; we all followed like sheep’s. No one dares say, ‘NO’ to Shuaib or say, ‘NO’ to Iya-Toheeb’s rice.
By the time we reached, I could see her smiling at me, her daughter Simbi also smiling at me, in case I had forgotten to introduce Simbi, she’s my girlfriend. She’s quite pretty, and she took her mother’s physical features, God-forbid she took any of her father’s, Simbi has a very big bum-bum and bigger breasts, she’s light-skinned and fresh, just the way I like my women, I can hear her mother’s maids teasing her that her husband has come, Iya-Toheeb’s face changing. At the same time, she scolded her and sent her on an errand. We entered the buka and sat, waiting for eggs to drink stew and become black. I heard Iya-Toheeb call me from inside the shop, claiming she needs an electrical issue to be fixed, well did I tell you I’m an electrician? Yes, I am; I fix any kind of electrical problems. Iya-Toheeb lead me to her room, just behind the shop, locked the doors, and told me to climb on her; that instant, I remembered the thunderbolt baba-Toheeb spoke about. How do I say ‘NO’ to this horny woman?
Omo😂😂
I really like this one 🤣🤣