The thing about Shuaib is that I never fully understand what he is, always stoned and quiet, yet his eyes seem like it’s got a million stories embedded in each socket. The first time we met, was of course, in Iya-Toheeb’s shop. Still, we didn’t start hanging out until he knew I also smoked. I mean, there’s a brotherhood among smokers. The first time we smoked together, I tried matching him, stick by stick, till he brought out a much potent strain. I lost woefully; if my memory isn’t clouded, the cruise after smoking that night was the best I ever had, just that I woke up inside a gutter, everyone around said I claimed to be Micheal Phelps. I was an Olympic swimmer. I dived into the trench and remained there through the night. The funniest thing about the whole cruise was that Shuaib got home, complete; nothing was wrong. The next morning, I couldn’t go with Shuaib’s pace; I decided ‘let me just stay low key,’ but he noticed me every time. The boys tried poking into Shuaib’s personal life. He shuts us down or changes the topic. Still, our curiosity made us ask Usman, Professor’s gateman, about Shuaib; they seemed close since they spoke Hausa together, and smoke leaves when the professor is away. Usman was able to explain to us as confidentially as possible that Shuaib is the son of a very wealthy and famous northern politician. But, he did something terrible, which made his father disown him; when we tried asking him what it was, he pushed us away. Everyone seemed to fear Shuaib, why, my other friends and I couldn’t fathom.
Hell doesn’t exist only when a person dies, but I must implore you that whatever you do in your short stay on earth, you must avoid spending the night in a military barracks. If you do, you’d realize that there’s hell on earth, and soldiers are demons. After the four soldiers barged into my room at midnight, I was dragged out with slaps and kicked into their truck. Even inside the car, the beatings didn’t stop till we got to the barracks; I suffered that night; there was no punishment in the book of punishments that I wasn’t subjected to. I was almost like the barracks' entertainment that night; there’s nothing as wicked as bored soldiers; I did and was subjected to several things. Still, only one person was on my mind throughout, the wickedness I was going to subject Baptista to, after-all na him put me for this yawa. By the time they were tired, they had kept me in an underground prison. The hours I had spent in the prison made me realize the many mistakes I’ve made in my life, be like say na curse. I looked at my manhood, and for the very first time in my life, I was disappointed, with the nonsense boy, and also with Iya-Toheeb who had forsaken me, and then to my darling Simbi, who I broke her heart. Life indeed comes at you fast. It might just take a few slaps and punishments for you to realize that. I tried reminiscing about my past life, but the stench and mosquitoes in the prison hole were horrible enough to make even Superman pray for death. By morning, I was dragged out of the prison-hole and taken to the barracks commandant's office. By the time I entered the office, I had met my friend Shuaib and Baba-Toheeb; in the office, the commandant’s face was as hard as coal; while I stared at his face, it seemed like I was looking at a lion, then he spoke something to Shuaib in Hausa who also answered by nodding his head. He then told him to leave with me, after telling me to apologize to Baba-Toheeb, I did, and he nodded in affirmative. Shuaib already got clothes for me, so I changed, but even in my unbalanced state of mind, I could see something different about Shuaib today. His eyes were clear; he wasn’t looking drowsy; he dressed neatly and spoke calmly. Then he ushered me into an army truck, the soldiers treated him with respect, while we drove out of the barracks, he talked to me in hushed tones 'I used to head this barracks’
Recuperating from emotional and physical stress like the one I just survived requires a tremendous amount of care, so Ugochi was available. How I met her is a story for another day, I can feel you're already judging me, but she was Baptista’s peace offering; he said she was his cousin; I sometimes wonder how many cousins Baptista had, but from what Isaac and Shuaib told me, that morning he woke up at nurse Titi’s kiosk He took at least three drips before he could be fully stabilized, I was even told he cried, promising his late mother that he wouldn't drink ’one-love’ anymore, in-between that he gave his life to Christ, and became a pastor quoting scriptures like 'our sister has no breast’ I'm sure you know the Bible verse, shayo really na bastard, now I wished I was there and noticed all these, would’ve been great content, for future yabs. Since I told him not to visit me or even try seeing me, he decided that the way to a man’s heart is through his manhood, hence Ugochi. She was sweet in everything, light skin, slim, and she was an excellent caregiver. She knew how to satisfy all my body organs. Other people came visiting, including Shuaib, who I noticed had gone back to default, high as usual. After two weeks, which seemed like forever, I became better and was just planning my next strategy, whether I might need to get my toolbox and go back to my electrician profession when a knock landed on my door. I excitedly rushed to it, hoping it would be Ugochi, but as I opened the door, the sight that greeted me was not, what I had expected, it was Iya-Toheeb, then she said 'I missed you.’
Iya Toheeb na winch, no two ways about it🙄
Iya Toheeb, miss bawo? Come off it plzzzz😅