The thing about magun (Thunder-Bolt) is that it is an irreversible reaction; that's why the herbalists usually ask the husbands to be sure of their wife’s adultery before purchasing it because if it turns out to be a lie, the men are bound to die. Still, if it’s true the woman is condemned, the man passes on her, which can’t be reversed. Now I think you all understand why I took safety precautions with Iya-Toheeb, don’t blame me, na only one life I get. Reminds me of the event that happened sometime last year in No, 14 when a man was struck by magun, in the dead of night, the man was just screaming for water, everyone tried their possible best, but he gave up the ghost at dawn, such a terrible fate that befell a fellow player in active duty, I still mourn him every time I hit a stroke Inside Iya-Toheeb.
One-love did a spectacular job because I made sure I spent all my time on Iya-Toheeb, I gave her her money’s worth, she was delighted like a shy teenager, and that is precisely why I exist; I ascertain that every woman on earth gets a breathtaking carnal experience, my motto: ‘The taste is the difference, the difference is in the taste’ by the time we finished at dawn, I had gone five rounds, and I wasn’t even yet tired, my man-hood still gyrating for more action, Iya-Toheeb, on the other hand, was already fast asleep, snoring, I looked at myself with pride, what a hard-working employee you are, I packed my things, dressed up, took another glance at Iya-Toheeb and congratulated myself once more, I’m almost sure she’d pay me more than our original bargained price, I left the room humming, ‘Champion’ by Fireboy, I stepped into the breaking day, screaming, ‘I’m a motherfucking champion.’
The rest of the day was not so eventful as I slept like a wood log when I got home; I had to recharge my energy because Simbiat was coming. It suddenly dawned on me that my room was in a mess, I quickly began arranging, my room, connecting my sound system with my phone, I enjoy putting stuff together, while listening to music, my mind went into retro, reminiscing about the first time I met Simbi, she caught my sight instantly, I was still new in the area, I had gone to the Nelson’s bet shop to place a bet and chill as I was bored at home and all of a sudden this very pretty lady walks by and every dude, in the shop began staring, then silence for a few minutes after she passed, some dude, commented ’This Simbi sef she go dey do like say na only am acceptable pass’ apparently I got to realize that she had said no to a lot boys in the area, at that moment I resolved that I was going to get her, so I did a few findings and then started visiting her mum’s shop, that was were I met my friends, and caught the eyes of her mother, where I went from fixing electrical problems regularly for her to fixing other things, still Simbi wouldn't budge, even after using all the tricks in the book to woo, her she remained adamant on the ‘No’ so I gave up, and that was her plan all along, myself and the boys still hanged out in her mum’s shop, throwing bants and making everyone laugh, then from there, we all started hanging out with the other girls in the shop, and from being occasionally snobbish she became more open and friendly, then from hanging out in the group, we separated ourselves and started hanging out together, we enjoyed each other’s company a lot, and even when I thought I had her already asked her out again, another resounding ‘No’. My ego was a dent, but as a real nigga, I moved on, we were still close and chilled together, but I was running with other girls. I just figured that she was always jealous whenever she saw me with other ladies; she would go into a rage and clear the other girls. Little did I know that she was marking territory. When I confronted her and asked why she was ‘cock-blocking’ me, we got into a big fight. She confessed to developing feelings for me a long time ago but didn’t know if I was sincere or not, that’s why she always said No, but she couldn’t hold it anymore, well, we made up with the most mind-blowing anger sex, you should try it, rage-fueled hormones perform wonders during sex. Since then we started dating, it’s been two years since, but I’ve been in bed with her mother, longer, if she suspects or not, I wouldn’t know. ‘Who’s at the door?’ I screamed, a loud bang broke off the trance I was in, ‘it’s me, Simbi’ a feminine voice echoed. Finally, I sighed, my manhood nodding in attention.
The thing about Simbi is that every time she came over, or we hung out. She always made sure she brought a gift for me, be it food or random stuff she thought I would love, and it still pained me that I couldn’t reciprocate her kind gesture too, ‘maybe when Iya-Toheeb, pays I’ll find something nice for her, but what is it that she’d like? She’s got such an expensive taste,’ I thought to myself. As I opened the door, I saw her, pretty, as usual, carrying a basket of food. I ushered her in. While we settled, I couldn’t help but feel jealous that another man, much better than me, would be enjoying her, but I couldn’t ask her about who I saw her with last night because that would mean that I’ll also blow my cover, so I just kept shut, thinking about how sexy and pretty she looked today. She caught me staring at her breasts and just laughed, ‘naughty boy, you want?’ That was the cue I needed; I dived right in. For the sake of her privacy, I wouldn’t give you the details of our communion, but it was the best, as usual, she always satisfied me. After several other shorter rounds, we both slept, but we were awoken by my stupid friends at the door banging. They wanted us to hang out. Baptista had just won a bet of 150k after staking 100naira; Simbi and I got dressed; I arranged the food she brought earlier inside the fridge. At least my week’s meal was settled. We both stepped out with my friends.
Our first stop was Iya-Toheeb’s shop since, at this particular time of the day, she would have gone to the ‘site.’ Simbi could be seen with me and us, without her mother throwing a tantrum, so we ate our fill; Baptista’s idea of a celebration meant that we all ate like thieves, Also used that moment to collect my pay from Iya-Toheeb, she gives the money to Risikat, who then offers me, mostly disguised as payment for the electrical work I did so, no one would suspect anything. My cash was intact, and in excess, I trust my employer.
Then we moved to Ini’s palm wine joint. As we entered, we were hailed by our fellow joint members, including Baba-Toheeb, Baptista, ordered fresh palm wine for everyone in the shop; after we sat and was comfortable, Shuaib was already rolling his leaves, while Isaac was reading something about ‘Ancient African folktales’ such a weirdo, myself and Simbi having random conversations while she tries so hard to ignore her mother’s useless husband, that’s what she called her father, she was sure he wasn’t her father because they had nothing in common. Baptista was having the time of his life, him and Shuaib exchanging blunts while drinking ‘one-love’ we were there till evening as Simbi was already disturbing me that we should get home, Isaac already left earlier, Mari-gold was having menstrual cramps, in his words he has to be there for her. As for myself and Simbi, we were about to take our leave; Shuaib, half-conscious, saw Baptista holding the DJ’s microphone signaling to us to wait for him to have a toast; I could see that he was already both drunk and eye. He began saying a thank you to everyone at the bar for making his day special, then I started wondering if today was his birthday, but Baptista was a funny person. Then he got to my turn and began hailing me, telling me and everyone how much of a great friend I was to him, and narrating how we met, the crowd of drunken men and women laughing, Simbi giving me the side-eye that we should leave already. Still, I didn't want to appear rude to my guy, Baptista. As he was about to take his leave, he uttered the craziest words ‘This my guy na bad boy, he dey steady nack both mama and pikin, I love you, bro.’
Baptisa don spoil parole oo
Omo!! Wahala don wear konkorshoe laidis